I'll never forget the Thursday in November 2015 when we got the call. We had just arrived in Louisville, KY for a youth conference and were settling in for a lunch at the hotel when our doctor's office's phone number popped up on my phone. Finally! The test was really just a formality for the information I already knew -
It's a girl boy!
Hold up, what?!
I couldn't even get the words out before the tears started coming - "I get to be a boy mom." (I wish I could put half an exclamation point there because I tried to be enthusiastic when I told Cody, but failed miserably.) Everything about our second pregnancy was so different, so we knew without question: it was a girl. While it definitely hit me harder than Cody, we both spent the next few days (and weeks and maybe months if I'm honest) mourning the life that we had pictured. My mom is my best friend and her mom is her best friend. It really shook me up to think that I might not ever have the chance to carry my best friend. All of a sudden I was starting fresh to "know" this baby I thought I already knew.
It did take Cody and I a while to come up with a name that we both liked. Grayson, to be called Gray, was actually on the top of our list, but it was rising on the charts and just too popular for our tastes. Camp was one that kept coming up, but we weren't quite ready to make a commitment. At this point people were asking and offering suggestions and it was funny to hear what other people liked. The more we talked about it though, Campbell was the clear winner. While I never would be disciplined enough to wait until delivery day to have the ultimate surprise, it began to be a game to tell others - "No, we haven't decided yet." while knowing we had a secret just between us. There were actually a handful of people that I told the name too, but I knew that Camp would get a few "hummms" and I didn't want anyone to change how we felt about out. I have no doubt that Camp was and will forever be the adventure we weren't expecting.
I'll never forget on the delivery day hearing my doctor say - "oh he's a big size!" (6 lbs 11 oz is a great size for almost 3 weeks early!) Hearing his first cries, seeing the underbite we worried about from sonograms, taking in every bit of our healthy boy and breathing a deep sigh of relief. I had a lot of fears and anxieties leading up to the delivery and I am grateful we were both healthy.
My heart was not prepared to be completely wrecked by a second boy. It’s true. Don’t take this as a “he’s my favorite” kinda thing (though the smells of a cuddly newborn sure do beat the smells of his brother’s summer feet!) It’s more about the fact that the picture of my life always held a family of four - Dad, Mom, Son, Daughter. And then this sweet, happy, chubby, brown hair, blue eyed, dimple cheeked boy shows up and changed every plan or picture I ever had for my life. The adventure he has had us on from the beginning of the thought of a second child has been one we will never forget and has changed our future for the better.
Cody and I love the church. It’s not perfect, but we love working there and serving families. There are things about us and how we live our life that we be different than some of our friends because we have said yes to God’s calling to ministry. (I know Griff, sometimes I want to sleep in on Sundays too!) I worry and I fret that someday, our boys might resent that which we love because of how it makes our lives different than others. Standing in front of our church committing Camp to the Lord comes with no guarantees or promises that he will believe in Jesus and live a safe life. It is our statement though, that we will parent him with open hands and bowed knees, dependent on the One who gave him to us. I know the dreams I have for him cannot even compare to what God has planned for his life. I can't wait to see it unfold.
It will wreck your heart in ways you never expect, but may you always be open to His adventure Camp!