I've always thought I would have a son first. Mostly based off of assumption because I have an older brother and not because of any type of intuition. First comes the son, then a daughter.
And while I love my son fiercely and will be the best boy mom to him and any future sons I have, I'm still hopeful for the daughter.
It feels wrong to admit. Because you're supposed to say you just want a healthy baby...saying you want a specific gender seems selfish. Sure, the wardrobe options, the bows, the dolls, the tea parties, the pedicures, and the built in shopping buddy would be nice. Throw in tears, some strong will, years of dirty room fights and a non-made bed, and lots of drama just for good measure too.
As selfish as it seems to so boldly declare that I want a daughter when I'm so blessed to already have a son, it's a prayer and a dream I hope the Lord answers for me some day. Because it's more than having a shopping buddy or a mini me to dress up with a Texas sized bow. It's about the bandaged knees, staying up late to make a matching dress for the cherished doll, fighting over piano lessons, the ups, many downs and tears through middle school, secrets shared during shopping trips, the good bye in the college parking lot, the first date that leads to dress shopping and wedding dreams, creating a home and calling mom for cooking questions, the announcement, the nine month wait, and finally seeing her becoming a mother herself.
It's the day in, day out, little and big moments, phone calls, texts, trips, squabbles and heart felt talks that life forges a relationship and bond that cannot be broken: when it's no longer just mother and daughter but best friends. And it's because I've watched my best friend with her best friend that I so boldly and selfishly pray that I will someday have the chance to have a daughter and watch her grow into my best friend.
Happy Mother's Day Mom! I am so thankful for your friendship in my life and the blessing you are continually to me!
(no question about it though, if I am blessed with a daughter, you can probably guess what she'll look like!)